Social and Emotional Development in the First Five Years

The first five years of a child's life are a time of wonder, discovery, and incredible emotional growth. During these early years, children develop the building blocks of trust, empathy, self-awareness, and connection—the heart of who they are becoming. As Montessori guides, educators, and parents, understanding these milestones helps us provide the safe, loving spaces children need to flourish.

Every child’s path is unique, but here’s a gentle guide to what you might observe during these tender years.

• Birth to 6 months: Babies develop a sense of trust and attachment to their primary caregivers, such as parents or guardians. They also start to respond to social cues, such as smiling and making eye contact.

• 6 to 12 months: As babies become more mobile and begin to explore their environment, they develop a sense of self and differentiate between familiar and unfamiliar people. They also start to understand basic emotions such as happiness and anger.

• 12 to 18 months: Toddlers develop a sense of independence and assert their will. They also begin to understand and express a broader range of emotions, such as fear and sadness. They also start to understand simple instructions and words.

• 18 to 24 months: Toddlers continue to develop their sense of self and start to understand the concept of "mine" and "not mine." They also begin to understand and follow basic rules, such as "don't touch." They also start to develop a sense of empathy and can comfort others.

• 2 to 3 years: Preschoolers continue to develop their social and emotional skills, including their ability to understand and express emotions, play cooperatively with other children, and begin to understand others' perspectives. They also start to develop a sense of self-awareness and self-esteem.

• 3 to 5 years: Preschoolers continue to develop their social and emotional skills, including their ability to understand and express a wide range of emotions, form friendships, and begin understanding and following complex rules. They also develop a moral self-sense of right and wrong.

  Birth to 6 Months: Building Trust & Connection

  In these early months, babies are learning one of life’s most important lessons: “The world is safe, and I am loved.”

  • They form deep bonds with their primary caregivers through eye contact, smiles, and soothing touches.

  • This time is all about building trust and a secure attachment—foundations for healthy emotional development.

  6 to 12 Months: Exploring Emotions & Familiar Faces

  As babies become more aware of the world, they:

  • Differentiate between familiar and unfamiliar people (cue the clinging or stranger anxiety!)

  • Start understanding basic emotions like happiness and frustration

  • Express joy through giggles and show upset through cries of protest when a favorite person leaves

  12 to 18 Months: Independence & Emotional Expression

  Welcome to the age of exploration—and big feelings!

  • Toddlers begin to assert their independence (“No!” may become a favorite word)

  • They express a broader range of emotions, like fear and sadness

  • Their understanding of simple words and instructions grows, helping them feel more connected and capable

  18 to 24 Months: Empathy & Early Social Awareness

  At this stage, toddlers develop a deeper sense of self and the beginnings of empathy.

  • They understand “mine” and “yours” (sometimes very passionately!)

  • Simple rules start to make sense, such as “gentle hands” or “no touching”

  • They may show comfort when someone is upset, offering a toy or a hug

  2 to 3 Years: Growing Friendships & Emotional Intelligence

  These years bring remarkable leaps in social skills and emotional understanding.

  • Children begin to play cooperatively, take turns, and navigate the complex world of sharing

  • They develop a clearer sense of self and start to understand the feelings and perspectives of others

  • You may notice budding self-esteem as they proudly say, “I did it myself!”

  3 to 5 Years: Friendship, Morality, & Emotional Mastery

  By preschool age, children’s social and emotional skills continue to blossom.

  • They form meaningful friendships, negotiate play, and follow more complex group rules

  • A sense of fairness and justice emerges (“That’s not fair!” becomes familiar)

  • They develop empathy and a growing understanding of right and wrong

  • Their ability to express and regulate emotions strengthens, although they still need guidance

• Your Role as a Guide and Caregiver

  Every child unfolds at their own pace—there’s no rush, no comparison. What they need most is you.

  • A safe, loving, and nurturing environment

  • Positive role models who show empathy, kindness, and respect

  • Consistent boundaries balanced with freedom

  • Strong, trusting relationships that help them feel secure and valued

  As Maria Montessori reminds us:
  "The child is both a hope and a promise for mankind."
  By nurturing their hearts now, we help shape compassionate, resilient, and joyful human beings.

  Take time each day to pause and see your child with fresh eyes. Celebrate their milestones—both big and small—and know that every loving interaction helps them grow into the fullest version of themselves.